My love

Pictures using my new SLR... graduation gift



In your eyes

无奈

无奈i guess is the only term i can use to describe how i feel towards events, relationships and things...
looking backward... i started to wonder if what I have done wrong in the past one yr and if that decision was a right one....
looking forward... I realised that i cant handle the change in the relationships between multiple people... and I do feel that they are jus too much for me to handle lately...
doesnt wan to complicate things... i started to be indifference... but that sensitivity of mine... cant help to juz feel upset by those words and things that had happened... it is good to be back as besties are ard... but seem like there are more bad weather casting over me since the very day i was back.... more tears need to be held back... more ways need to be given... yet things are still very tough on me.... no longer that happy as what i appeared to be.. no longer that easy as i thought... if life is like a river.... im in the rapids and it is a rough journey...

juz a strange feeling

juz feeling a bit strange...
have a gd news to share
but seems like no one out there can understand how i feel
i have come so far
work so hard but
the joy that i have experienced seems...so lonely...
juz becoz i went thru this route on my own?
juz becoz they dont understand?
this joy doesnt seem to be shared by others...
maybe it doesnt have that thing called 共鸣
at least this is what i believe...

To that special someone whom I wanna share the joy with (dont know when you will read n know it)
I did well for my Master...
gotten a distinction for that 1 yr of hard work
are you proud of me?
I hope I did you proud...
and did prove to you that life goes well without u

对不起，
我不会爱

祝你幸福、快乐

随笔：幸福影子

曾经爱过的两个人

会在彼此的灵魂中留下印记

就算感情淡了

那些生命中一起走过的片段

那些回忆

都会十分珍贵

毕竟我们曾有一次幸福的机会

一起逆着风飞翔

追寻心中的那个花园

似乎要拥有爱的完美

可惜我们都沒好好把握

只能继续伪装坚强洒脱

抱着遗憾努力地向前走

默默地庆幸能被所爱的人深深爱过

Out of the sudden
I realise Im a pretty prideful one...
prideful in a way that no one will notice...
someone who wants to strive
someone who wants to be recognised
someone who wants to win or outshine others
in a relationship, I might sacrifice alot or put down myself low...
but i guess ultimately I want to win in the relationship...
Someone once said that I was borned to be a leader...
who can look at things in a macro and micro perspectives
but am i really that capable?
I really wonder
maybe deep in my heart
I juz wan to win
win the battle
and win others
but to be honest
I guess things have changed as I'm the only enemy of myself..
not others


Jia you Summersnow

把头抬高
让眼泪往后流
就能够不让眼泪落下
可是我做不到， 也办不到
眼泪，它不停地流
不断地流
停不了
止不住

有人说， 放了手就要学习祝福
但为何， 心总在隐隐作痛

当初的伤心
是因为
不被你认同
是因为
被你误解
所谓的信任
所谓的依赖
那些定义
一夜被你打翻
原来
我你相信的
好不同

而我最在乎的，
是你从来都不相信我
相信我们

细雨绵绵的四月
我这才发现
我一起在默默地吊唁那已逝去的爱情

如果说一个谎
能隐瞒一切
不再成为那所谓的负担
别人能因此解脱
快乐
why not
最起码
他们会是快乐、幸福的

an unforeseen stress happened to arise ytd
things that nv come across my mind happened
I started to wonder about the relationship between people
the simple trust in others
and how naive i can be
always believe in goodness in others
nv realise that every single movement made...
you're being judged
judged for the motives behind
and being labeled as 不简单
i still hope for the good in people
i wanted to be hopeful
and i cant live in the world without trust..
it seems scary
我需要防人，还是别人防我

I really hope that everyone will be fine n happy...
they deserve those happiness...
If I could hv the abilities... I hope I can give them my happiness as well...
I hope i can do my part in bringing them those happiness... despite.. sacrificing mine...

原来我伤了自己
也伤了别人
sorry...

勇敢

你说我勇敢
我不以为然
因为那是个假像
一个伪装
一个不能放任自己的理由
其实我并不勇敢
只是我选择了
对自己
对他人负责
不管路有多不平坦
不管我有多害怕、多孤单
即使多想放任自己好好的大哭一场
我都要hold住
很努力的做个勇敢的人
最起码
不能让别人看到心中的恐惧
我不能输

我很想飞
想飞到世界的另一端
尝试那一万个可能
寻找那千万个奇迹
没有束缚
没有包袱
就那么简单
或许绕了地球一圈
我依然拥有你右手边的位子
或许绕了地球一圈
我们都有各自的天空

sense the stress
feel the stress
touch the stress..
this is how stressful i am..
arghz...

"曾经爱过的两个人
会在彼此的灵魂中留下印记
以后就算感情淡了
那些生命中一起走过的片段
那些回忆
也都会十分珍贵的"



我想过去的已经回不去了
或许当初那些不理智的举动
永远得不到谅解
或许
我们的缘分。。。 做朋友的缘分
只有仅仅的几年
我和你早在当初
变成两条平行线
你已经是那个我不熟悉的陌生人

am i being too harsh? or did i misunderstand again....?

had a good talk with davynn last night...
strangely the advice given was the same with others
but at least... i feel it is not that 刺耳 as compared to those who bring up the similiar contents..
at least a choice is given to me to choose... informed consent
pro and cons being evaluated... and experiences being shared...
yes everyone is right... I need to heal... i shld be taking time to heal...no rush...
the damage is there... but it shldnt be forever there....
and I'm not ready to embark into another relationship...
at least getting myself ready...
although the process was self destructive but at least get the reconstruction right...
I choose to believe wat i believed in...
and i choose to live the way i wan it to be....