???

it has been almost a mth tt i blogged...every1 thinks tt im too busy to blog but it's not true... i was online everyday but i juz refuse to blog. reason veri simple: coz i dunnoe wat to write especially when i had created a mess out of my life tt i dunnoe how i can settle in... this havoc doesn't allow me to really settle down n concentrate in my studies, all i can do it to avoid avoid avoid...i noe i'm in my denial mode...n i noe tt it's not a solution for my problems but currently im not ready to face them and it's the best solution tt i can think of..

sometime i really hope tt i can transform myself into a bimbo who doesnt need to use much of the brain cells and can jus let the neurons died.. i do feel tt bimbo r quite carefree coz they dun think much n worry tt much as their mindset r veri simple n straightforward...i getting quite tired of myself... i hate myself being so jing ming.. being jing ming has become a burden in my life.. isolating my life..but wat can i do....