Overview of 2007

2007, a year of unexpected, and emotional struggle
A lot of things have happened, and most caught me off guard..
2007 is a year which I felt lost and hoping to holding onto anything that come
A year which I realised that hard work and effort do not lead to recognition
A year which I felt the ideal is only a delusion
A year which I experienced a lot of emotional struggle and lost of directions...
A year which I do not what I really want in fact
All the things that happened had made me grow in a way...
Yes.. I can say that I'm braver and mature than previous...
but trying to perserve the child-like nature...
I know what I want now in terms of relationship...
I'm still looking forward to it... but just let the nature take its course...
What will come will definitely come
I have a clearer idea of what I hope to achieve in my work and study
and I believe that I will strive towards it...
I know it's hard to do well in both when I only have time for only 1...
But things will work out by its own..,
and I know that I will have utmost support from my friends...

2008 will be a better year for me...
Though I have nothing much to achieve
but definitely a better sense of direction to follow...

People I'm glad to have you around during my low times...
but I hope that you will be around during my high times...

周杰伦 - 彩虹

哪里有彩虹告诉我
能不能把我的愿望还给我
为什么天这么安静
所有云都跑到我这里

有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白
看不见你的笑
要我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳开始环绕环绕
没有理由我也能自己走掉
是我说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

I'm glad to make such a decision today...
Yes I'm sadz in a way bcoz.. I'm sort of rejected...
well it's a one-sided affair... This ending is sort of expected...
But I think i shld give myself a gd pat on my shoulder coz I'm brave enough to face all things...
At least I feel relieved...
At least I dun feel headless anymore...
At least I've tried and I know I will not regret...
At least I know I can let go..
Sadness is just a part and parcel of the grieving process..
I think i will come out of it...
It's a learning process...
Learning how to pick self up when we fall..
A process to know that this friendship is being treasured by both parties
A process to know that how strong we can be...


There are 4 persons we need to find in our life...
The first one is self..
The second one is a person we love most
The third one is a person who love us most
and lastly one who can spend the rest of our life with...

I'm still looking for 2nd, 3rd and 4th.. hopefully they are the same person..
And i hope you guys will be able to find yours too...
I know it's difficult but please be patience..
The best yet to come...


Someone told me abt this theory today...
The Mr right should consists of the following:
- able to make you laugh when you are sadz
- you feel happy when he is happy
- you feel sad when he is sadz...

I hope you will be able to feel for the theory too..

The sky will be clearer than tmr.. :)

林宥嘉

那首歌


我爱的人


你把我灌醉


背影


三公分阳光三公分空气
堵在眼前像一面玻璃
挡住了你表情剩下只有脚印
He......
一直向前走走不完距离
一直向后退不出回忆
很高兴有心事帮我困住自己

你头发上淡淡青草香气
变成了风才能和我相遇
你的目光蒸发成云
再下成雨我才能够靠近
感谢我不可以住进你的眼睛
所以才能拥抱你的背影
有再多的遗憾用来牢牢记住
不完美的所有美丽
感谢我不可以拥抱你的背影
所以才能变成你的背影
躲在安静角落不用你回头看
不用珍惜
我怀里所有温暖的空气
变成风也不敢和你相遇
我的心事蒸发成云
再下成雨却舍不得淋湿你
躲在安静角落如果你回头看
不用在意

escapist?

I get fatigue easily recently...
seems that I dont have some energy left for other things...
I'm tired of pulling the corners of my lips up when I feel like crying...
hidding at one corner and juz to let out my feelings
but i cant... I really cant to so...
Disappointment has occupied my entire emotion and well being...
Shld have believed that it's an avoidance an escapism...
Shldnt have believed that the mist will be clear.. things will be fine.. and I will face it with my brave side...
I feel like sleeping away all my unhappiness and worries...
but it does not work... every morning i wake up such feelings still exist...
It's growing... it's magnifying... It feels more than what I've experienced last May...
Maybe I shld continue to cuddle myself in bed to avoid such feelings...

我怀念当初在海边画画的日子
人好像 无时无刻
一辈子都在后悔
一辈子都在。。。
后知后觉以后领悟
我曾错过。。。
曾经遗憾一些事情
再来 用这遗憾
来完成自己的画
希望每一个人
都可以珍惜自己身边的人
就像蓝天永远包容着白云
就算晴时多云偶阵雨
天晴之后 这是会有着彩虹

雨过天晴的晚上
我看到满天繁星
微风吹过 呼唤着珍惜
我不想再退缩
不想再躲在墙角
我想好好地为自己努力
想好好面对的自己

...

feeling a bit tired regarding wat's going on in the surroundings...
i'm tired of all the guessing games..
tired of taking on a angelic role.. how i wish i'm a devil in nature..
i'm tired of waiting..
tired of putting up a false front..
someone told me to grit my teeth and soldier on..
do i still have the energy and courage...
i know i'm hiding...
trying to keep a distance but yet looking forward to all the meetings...
sigh.. wat a conflicting me..

A letter to U

My dear friend,

I'm just a line away, please share your burden with me when you need a listening ear
The load is not the heavy that all because i'm here to share with you
I'm always here to hold you tight, please dont let go yourself?
It's sad to know that you are not happy, it hurt me to see you suffering
If there is anything that i can do to make you happy, please let me know..
You hold an important place in my heart, and i will never forgo our friendship
Remember I'm always at your side giving all the support you need,
Please dont give up, my dear friend
I'm always here for you...

x|n

??

Got a bit teary recently..
often i will 含着泪睡着
i dun really know what actually bother me exactly...
but i do know that i'm affected by some small little changes observe on the facebook..
i start to wonder why
or shld i say that i need to learn to really acknowledge..
i'm stuck in a way
may be have sank in other way..


找不到方向望彩虹天堂

呼吸的痛

想念是会呼吸的痛
因为我不能继续呆在你身边
不能陪你嬉闹
因为离开是为了让我成长
是为了让你解脱

遗憾是会呼吸的痛
因为我输给了你和她过去
输给了起跑点
因为我不能给你她所能给的快乐
不能想被这过去捆住


我们好像只能背对背而已

潘裕文 潘王子 Peter Pan

Recently I am addicted to taiwanese variety show:超级星光大道
and, also i am addicted to one of the contestants--- 潘裕文！！！
soothing voice he has, 温暖， 能安抚人的歌声！！
潘王子！！！

潘裕文 林志炫--離人


潘裕文-旋木


潘裕文--走了嗎

珍惜

你的抽屉里面
一定藏了很多你珍惜的东西
只是已经放得太久
久的连你自己都忘记了
巧克力如果不吃
会被蚂蚁吃掉
身边的人如果不珍惜的话
也是会消失的


from Angel Lover

change of perception...

In order to continue to adapt
one needs to learn to change his/ her beliefs and values systems
i'm learning to do so..
trying hard to move out..

有人讓我明白在乎一個人的感受，讓我明白為在乎的人努力，是不求回報也會快樂的，
我想為我在乎的人繼續努力。

爱情转移

I was struck by a sentence in the lyrics of 爱情转移

“感情需要人接班 接近换来期望 期望带来失望的恶性循环”

Is this really a vicious cycle? I'm trying to understand.. shld i say i dont understand.. It is true that high hope may result in disappointment however hope give us a direction to move on...

If i need to respond to this line，i will say:

“我愿意为你的爱情接班， 但你愿意吗？
不要再期望什么
而是努力经营原有的一切
你的失望不再是一个人的负担
因为我愿意和你分担”

依赖

我想依赖你，可以吗？
我想和你分享我的喜怒哀乐，你愿意吗？
如果依赖成了习惯， 我希望你不要放开你的手
请让我继续地依赖你
我想一直躲在你的怀里，
依偎着你
一直感受到你的呵护
你是否愿意？

Abandonment

"abandon yourself to this new day
abandon yourself to what might be new for you today
abandon yourself to what may come, and let go of what you wish were true.
Keeping your hand clenched on the past doesn't let you accept anything new
abandon yourself and open your hand to see what new might come"

This is a quote from a journal article which i recently read for the schoolwork which i find it meaningful.
We need learn to let go the past and let things slowly heal by themselves. It is good for us to reminisce the past, but there is a limit. Holding onto the past doesnt allow you to change anything from the past. The past will continue to haunt you if you dont let go. It will continue to tear the scar apart and cause more pain in you. I've learnt to let go, have you?

dreaming of you

I've dreamt of you last night
A sweet and bitter dream to me
I wonder you have tasted it
Wonder you have the same dream as mine
but I'm certain that your dream doesnt cast me as the main role
maybe a supporting role which I may not appreciate
I'm certain that my dream will not turn to reality
And, I'm certain that it's just a dream
A dream that reminded me to surrender to the reality
A dream that made me tear when I woke up
I will support your decision
I hope that it's a right one
I hope the best for you
but I still hope to keep you in my dream

喜欢。习惯

喜欢与习惯
常常只有一线的距离
当感情转淡了
喜欢或许已变成了习惯
但难以察觉
因为每个人常常会把这两个感觉混淆
而听不见真真的感觉

喜欢一个人是发指内心的一种真真的感觉
而习惯某个人像是一种毒瘾，一种依赖
戒也戒不掉， 而迷失的自己
蒙蔽的真心

随笔 for FIR 需要你的爱

我看见了你的贴心与用心
你是否看见了我的真心与耐心
我在等待
一直在等待
等待你听见自己心里的话的那一天

I love my job...

Whenever I started to feel that I'm losing my grip, there will be something that reaffirm my values and beliefs. I need to admit that as a healthcare professional, we need to be emotionally strong and learn to empathize others. Enablement and empowerment are the key things that we should ultimately pass on to our patients. I always feel that I've not been doing enough for my patients and my passion in my work was shaken by certain events happened. Yesterday, my patient wrote a card for me.

"I wan to tell you "Thank You"
But it doesn't seem enough.
Words don't seem sufficient.
I appreciate your kindness
more than words can say.
You're special because
you seemed to always make my day
with your cheerfulness and laughter.
Really appreicate everything you had done.
Words can say so little when someone had done so much."


This message may mean nothing to others, but it means a lot to me. It rekindles my passion as a therapist, reaffirms my beliefs in my care. To me, a patient is not just a patient, but also a mentor in my life experience.

向日葵

悲伤从不属于向日葵
不管也有多黑
向日葵总是不断的找寻太阳
希望让自己快乐
而且把阳光带给大家

是非题

down 2

I think everyone is thinking that i'm feeling better. but the truth is I'm not.. getting a bit teary and worried with my partial tear in knee ligament which the dr wan to treat it conservatively to see whether there is any improvement with intramuscular injection, if not a scope with a KIV operatin may be needed. this means that i might not be a inpatient therapist anymore. the injection was very painful that my entire body was tensed up. post jab was also a misery because i cant flex my knee well and i feel more pain... i have a urge to call but i'm juz a nobody...Seems like i having bad luck.. i think i need to get an amulet for myself too..

down...1

out of the sudden, i feel like telling someone a lot of things: my feelings towards the person, and the incident and my views. but i have chosen to stop myself from doing so. I'm feeling very uncertain towards wat has been happening among/ between/ to us. I'm hesitated to the truth, and i'm holding myself back. I dont have the courage to say wat i intend to. ALl i can do is stayed extremely calm listening to the narration of the recent events, although i am not! I'm not giving any stress to anyone but towards myself.

秘密

在我朋友面前我是一个没有自己秘密的人
我喜欢向朋友坦白
但因为某些原因我知道某人的秘密
一个让我心痛的秘密
一个让窒息的秘密
一个具有杀伤力的秘密
这个秘密我并没有告诉认识他的人
因为我知道它的严重性
但这个秘密所负有的重量让我有了压力
我选择了逃避
逃避面对秘密
逃避面对这个过去
对不起我已无法背负着承重的秘密
所以我早已选择了离去

在爱情的路上
每个人都需要作出个选择
感情变淡了， 牵手或放手？
爱情变稀薄， 幸福或祝福？
在爱情的转角
每个人都要面对前方的景物
不管选择是对，是错
我们都要学习面对

Kapo

sometimes i wonder whether i shld poke my fingers regrading others' personal issues.. i do feel that i said too much but shld i say i care too much.. i juz want my friends to be hurt to a certain extent... i've been thru that phase n i dun wan to friends to follow that footsteps.i feel hurt to see their relationships do not go in the correct ways...

I'm workacholic..

I think I'm mad.. serious!! I'm still at my workplace mugging for my assignment till i decided to give up to refine my search question.. who on earth will stay till so late to do the work in the office.. I'm crazy indeed..!! I need rest le.. coz i'm speaking rubbish now!!

Retrospective entry

Finally I had my very own weekend after burning 3 consecutive weekends due to conference, work, inservice and school.. Though this weekend I'm still doing my assignment.. which tried to accomplish a bit but failed.. but at least I manage to do something I like and they are less stressful.. hmm.. what did i done? well i finally manage to meet up with WC on friday for dinner & crap a bit plus watched "Ratatouille". And also met up with Aud, and Geri for coffee and nua-ing in the cafe on sat nitez.. how i wish everyday will be like these.. wat a wishing thinking i had.. well there was a common thing happened for the both nite which was i took the last train back home.. fierce rite.. haha (lame)

The following are some recent events that i was "involved":

1) Raj's Farewell (17 Aug)

Occupational Therapy Team 1


2) Singapore Fireworks Festival (17 Aug)

Always like this nightview of Singapore from the bay...





wow!! my fav. Fireworks..

Wencong & I




3) Rheumatology Workshop @ Conrad (24-26 Aug)

Having the morning tea with my workmates


The only thing I enjoyed during the conference was the food.. and dining area.. ambience was good.. classy.. but a bit stressful when facing at the cutlery..

Function Room for dinner is at the poolside

This is the poolside restroom..

4) Interdept Captain Ball Match (5 & 7 Sept)
Energizer

Da Ge Hong Yun & me...

Tired look.. Lip Chin, Joanna & me!

Mr Adam Keith & me...

David & me...

Victory smile.. moving into the quarter finals

Go Go GO!!!



5) Hong Yun's Farewell (7 Sept)


What's so secretive?

So engrossed in reading

Yeah.. Specially designed farewell gift...

Recent look of me...

特别的位置

每个人这辈子
心中都有过这么一个特别的朋友
可能相爱过， 也可能喜欢着彼此
但是， 却为了什么原因而没能在一起
很矛盾的行为
一开始
你不甘心只是做朋友的
但久了
突然发现
这样最好
宁愿这样默默地关心
总好过在一起而有天会分手

珍惜

有一种感觉叫珍惜
这是一种奇妙的感觉
一种令人感到幸福的感觉
被在乎的感觉
不管结果如何
最重要的是
当下这个人感觉到珍惜

遗忘

如果可以的话, 我希望能忘记过去
以全新的姿态认识你
或许一切会简单多了

Things will not be the same

Today it might seem to be a normal usual Monday, but i guess everyone do feel the same as how i feel, juz that no one do vocalise it. The team is quieter now, and 10AB gym too.. no more lame jokes, no more baby photos and Hp discussions, and my nagging voices... things will not be the same anymore, unless this is wat i felt... i need to admit that i miss that chap. he is not only the colleague, but also a mentor, brother and friend. i like to depend on him when i'm at workplace. he is also my SOS in time of crisis. all these made his departure difficult for me...

i'm glad that he likes that movie clip that i've prepared for him... at least his appreciation made it worthwhile for me sleeping at 4am in the morning in order to complete the gift.

i hope that he is fine at rehab, enjoying his work and continue to make a difference in his patients. plus taking good care of those patients who were previously under my care. 大哥加油！！

A girl.. who simply loves the speed...

When i was young i was kind of different from the girls of same age.. i dont like playing with barbie dolls or masa masa.. playing hide and seek; and catching were always on the top of my priorities... i enjoy running not as in slow jog but it's the hard core spriting... i like the "dash" feeling during the run and also the wind blowing onto my face... And, also i always like to speed up when running downward slope to enjoy the "extra" bit of speed.. not only that it actually allows me to keep my mind off from other things and focus during that few seconds of dashing... and it is a way for me to vent my anger too... i hope i can continue to run like the past.. but i really doubt so based on the recent incidents..

i started to feel the pain on the medial side of my right knee since Apr/May... i thought it was a muscle strain coz i felt it a few times during my track and field training when i was in Sec4, and the dr believed so too... but the pain din go off for weeks... and my physio friend felt that it seems to be a muscle imbalance issue becoz of my gaits. i subsequently went for a running assessment to look at my weight distribution on feet and the results were i tend to over pronate during my run. and a pair of control shoes and knee support were invested. and the pain did went off gradually.. however recently the pain came back when i increased the intensity of sports in a week, and aching pain increases when i redistributed all my weight onto my right for more than 1 min. in addition there seems to be an increase in trip and almost fall incidence rates over the past 1 month. multiple falls occurred during the past 2 days of captain balls and these falls werent mostly caused by collisions. i still remembered that there was one moment when i jumped for the ball, sudden weakness was felt on my right leg, and i fell when i landed. yesterday when i was running from novena square trying to catch up with my teammates after lunch, i had a sense of 力不从心. i found it difficult to do my striding as weakness set in. things worsened during the evening games, despite i wanted to play at least a full half game. my knee basically gave way when i was running and there was a moment that i limp. all the bruises were found on my right leg. a few of my physio friends had asked me not to continue to play, and one of them did explain the consequences if anything happened--- might not be able to do any sports in the future if it is really a ligament issue not balance. i did ponder abt this issue for a while but i decided to continue to play last night as it holds an extra meaning...
it might be rare to see the 3 guys from my dept playing together in the future. 我真得很想最后一次和他们一起拼命。。。 and i did view it as my last game before i consult the dr and get the final verdict. but unfortunately i din get to play much as they were worried that i will further injure myself if i continue to fall.

aching pain is still constantly felt and it increases when i walk more than 10min... planning to see a dr soon.. but fearful of the findings.. maybe ignorance is a blessing.. and i wan to continue to run..

愛情是靠努力的, 如果一切都講運氣, 愛情還有甚麼好感人的?

有种美丽，叫放弃 （‘淘汰’后记）

感激上天让我与你相遇与你别离
生命给了我们无尽的悲哀， 也给来我们永远的答案
于是，安然一份放弃， 固守一份超脱
不管未来的生活如何变迁
不管个人的选择方式如何
跟不管握在手中的东西如何
我们虽逃避也勇敢， 虽欣慰也伤感
我们像往常一样，往生活的深处走去
我们像往常一样， 在逐步放弃
却有着逐步决定

淘汰

淘汰 is one of the songs that I came across when watching one of the Taiwan variety shows.. and it manages to touch me.. There are 2 versions of this song.. personally i prefer Eason's version as i like the way he handled the emotions of the songs..

Eason's version



Jay Chou's Version


如果你愿意再次相信
相信我是爱你的
我会奋不顾身
把幸福都给你
就算
有风也有雨
也要给你
阳光洒满地

My Celebrity Look-alikes

hmm.... do i really look alike....?

羅志祥- 愛＊轉角MV

我伪装着
不露痕迹的想在你身边
静静的陪着看着天边
骑着单车
往前行进着
某个路口爱在等着
你往前走
不回头看了记忆的笑脸
缓缓的敲着我的琴键
我不舍得
让你孤单单的
我爱你的心牵挂着
心不再拚命躲不去害怕结果
假设有个以后你会怎么说
一直想跟你说幸福不再溜走
下个路口你会看见爱
有美丽笑容
爱转角遇见了谁是否有爱情的美
爱转角以后的街能不能有我来陪
爱转角遇见了谁是否不让你流泪
也许陌生到了解让我来当你的谁
我不让爱掉眼泪不让你掉眼泪
现在永远
你就是我就是我的美

Recently this is one of my favourite songs. No special reason for liking it but i guess it's the 'side effect' of the Drama series, Corner with Love, which i recently watched within 2 days.

Tired & Stress

I'm so tired and stress over these few days.. things don't seem to be right and i have a lot of things yet to be settled.. i need to admit that i'm stress and indeed super extremely stress.. not only bcoz of my work and also i'm starting sch le.. but the details and payment have not settled yet..now i wonder why did i start to go back to sch.. i used to be looking forward to sch but now i'm worried.. worried whether i am able to cope with it and my work; and excel in both.. i doubt i doubt.. super no confidence.. all these stress are making me drain out.. very drain.. i'm tired really tired when i even haven start SCHOOL YET!!!! Guess wat i'm doing now.. drinking Kopi-O despite i know that i will suffer from the side effects later.. but i really need an energy booster now... i need to destress but chocolate doesnt help anymore.. last wkend fireworks did manage to help but there will not be fireworks every wkend rite.. sighz.. sadz..

Pissed off

just another episode of feeling unsettled. all things seem to be so off to me... easily upset by my ward nurses for the entire day for things that were not within my control.. why am i so easily swing about by all these small little things.. yucks.. am i trying to be a perfectionalist or juz wanting others to work at my level.. i'm super not right!!!!

等待。期待

曾经的我
一直在期待
期待着心中的结果
却迷失了自己

当期待成了失望
我学会了等待
总是在黑暗的角落
等待一个奇迹
等待一个机会
却蒙蔽了心眼
失去了判断

我讨厌这样的我
于是我拒绝了等待
拒绝了一个我无法承受的过程
或许抱着一个平常心的呼吸
我会好过一点
没有了期待
也没有了等待
我只想要珍惜眼前的一切

你是我心内的一首歌 by 王力宏 feature Selina

A very retro mv background and sweet combination.. simply like this simple lovely song!!

王:你是我心内的一首歌
王:心间开启花一朵
s:你是我生命的一首歌
s:想念汇成一条河
王:点在我心内的一首歌
王:不要只是个过客
s:在我生命留下一首歌
s:不论结局会如何

合:好想问你
合:对我到底有没有动心
合:沉默太久
s:只会让我不小心犯错
王:不小心犯错

s:点在我心内的一首歌
s:不要只是个过客
王:在我生命留下一首歌
王:不论结局会如何


合:你是我心内的一首歌
合:心间开启花一朵
合:你是我生命的一首歌
s:想念汇成一条河
王:想念汇成一条河

s:好想问你王:好想问你
s:对我到底有没有动心
王:对我到底有没有动心
s:沉默太久王:沉默太久
s:只会让我不小心犯错
王:不小心犯错

合:点在我心内的一首歌
合:不要只是个过客
合:在我生命留下一首歌
合:不论结局会如何

01S3B Class Gathering

I've always enjoyed meeting up with my JC classmates despite of the fact that i need to do the dirty work of organising it. It has been 3 months since we last met and maybe it is even longer for those who have been disappearing for a short while. frankly speaking 3 months to me was a bit long.. i remember when we first out of school.. we used to meet mostly every weekend when the guys were in the army.. subsequently at least once a month when the girls started school... when the guys started school we hardly meet up.. everyone seems to be busy with their own things and also their new group of friends..i miss the days that i can sit there quietly listening to the squabbles between jinying, weilin and fengchen; interesting army encounters from the guys; rayner's high-end experience of having fine dining and JAPANESE food!!; shiyun sharing her friends' "stories", and days of playing 'bridge' openly in the public while waiting for the usual latecomers, and not forgetting the famous "open number' to finish up the leftovers!!

Well we no longer play the foolish games we used to play.. Listening to each other's updates, work experiences, and travel experiences are nice too for today's gathering especially Zhenhao is back from his Work-n-travel in US.. I've gotten my last bday prezzie ffor this year from him-- Nike watch (Merge Attract series):-P


Something similar i got but it's in baby blue.. i simply juz love it





Anyway I enjoyed the gathering( esp the praises frm ppl regarding me :P).. i dunnoe when will be the next one especially when i'm starting school soon, and fengchen will be leaving for Korea for 4mths... but certainly i'm looking forward for the next gathering which i guess we will be able to hear more interesting stories from Jinying.. our very own SIA girl when she starts flying soon..
:-P

Having a drink at Coffee Club post dinner

My Buddy.. Zhenhao & me...

Reminiscing

Our very own CT, Mr Ng's Birthday celebration (2002)

Racial Harmony Day (2002)

Dinner & Dance (2002)

Visit to NYJC new campus (2004)

Annual CNY visiting @ Weilin's Place (2005)

Tioman Trip (May 2005)

Crazy Bangkok Shopping Trip (Dec 2005)

fustrated

sometime i wonder whether i'm selfish or not... its seems that i only can see my own problems and relying the rest to listen to my problems. though there was no complaints from any of my friends but i feel that i'm selfish.. self centred. i know that it has been a tough time for me for these few months and i'm too focus in his and mine issues.. and i lean onto my friends too much.. it nv comes to my mind that they themselves also facing a dozen of problems which were unknown to me.. but why do i have the cheek to rely on them.. they are not obliged to listen to me.. why am i loading with them my problems. i'm not that kind as what other think too.. self centred and selfish are all i can describe myself now..

迷失。明白

我想我迷路了
迷失在心中的国度里
我以为你会牵住我的手
陪着我度过
但我从没想过
你的温柔与体贴
却是我迷失的原因
我从没有想过逃离
一直紧握仅有的温柔
以为这一切会有转机
却发现我没有优先权
在你心中我不是最重要的
因为我不会依赖着你
不想因依赖而成为了你的负担
不想你看到你因负担而变成沉重
如果这样会让你快乐一点
我会保持着这不平稳的天枰
因为我明白我不是你的未来
也知道我能自己走出这迷宫
现在的我看开了。。。
我只想珍惜我所拥有的一切包括你这个朋友

NOT ME

I feel that I'm like a deflated balloon now... floating around aimless.. fustrated on little things which i cant help it.. i may not have the courage to cont anymore.. despite how much i care.. as far as i know for this point of time.. i'm exhausted totally.. i'm not the ME that i'm used to be.. i hate the way i am now.. and i know that i'm losing the courage to cont wat i wan to...

My head is spinning

Feeling Gong Gong seems to be an indication of insufficient rest for me.. i thought i was fine after the trip despite the weather was a bit on the cold side... i looked back for the past few days since back home.. i realised that i nv really manage to have a good night sleep.. quality sleep was disturbed by my thoughts and worries, and also dreams.. dreaming of losing someone impt though i struggling to hold onto.. standing at the cliff crying non stop... felt a sense of heartaching when looking at someone drifting away/ apart from me... are all these omens of losing.. or juz that i need a sense of security... seems that i'm not in control of my life... maybe WC is rite in a right.. staying away instead of totally drawn towards may be a better solution to my problem now..

qutoes from 夏雪

“遇到一个爱你的人需要很多的运气，

找到一个你爱的人需要很多努力，

运气是不可求的，

而努力却是可以付出的，

找到一个你爱的人已经很不容易，

还去要求他是不是也爱你就更困难了，

如果遇不到爱你的人那就找一个你爱的人，

这样幸福就简单多了。”

1

2

“每个人心中都有一些遗憾

有时甜、 有时苦

甜的是美美的回忆

苦的却是只有回忆”

1

1

“错过的永远最美，最美的永远错过。

因为错过所以你发现她的好，

然后花了很多时间和精力去重新寻找，

想要弥补那个遗憾，

在这个过程中他在你的心中的份量会越来越重，

到最后错过的就变成最美的、最爱的

也因为这样所以最爱的永远都会错过。

而人总是在追求心中一种遗憾

却忽略自己身边所拥有的东西

如果停下来就会发现其实自己拥有的已经够多了”

Hokkaido

Greetings from Hokkaido.. finally found a free internet access in the hotel. the hotel that lodge in today is built in the middle of the forest and buildings are found among trees with indoor links...cool rite.. haha
Today is my DAY 3 in Hokkaido. so far so gd.. enjoy my life over here.. but i`m still coping with the weather which is totally unpredictable.. it was a rainy day when i first arrived and freezing cold in the evening which my jacket failed to keep me warm.. well i was glad that the weather is gd today.. sunny but yet windy as well.. gd weather for me to see the lavender [ will post up the photos when i`m back]. food was average for the buffet BUT sashimi and the desserts plus choco were gd,,,yet to try the Melon which hokkaido is famous for.. still considering to buy or not coz it`s very expensive approximately more than 1600 Yen(SG 20)...
ok i gtg le.. need to catch my beauty sleep.. hope things are fine in SG....

cHANGI AirPort

Guess where am i now? sighz.. at gate D41 awaiting to be board to JAL 710 final destination to Narita.. sometime it is quite sad to travel with my parents. had to be force to enter the age early to avoid the crowd although i have not shop sufficiently in the transit mall.. T_T but anyway i juz taken a Gelare waffle for my dinner..but it was very filling as my irritating dad ate half of it.. :S ok i shall bear with his childish act for the next 6days
6hrs of night flight now i started to worry whether i will be able to sleep on board or not.. and i still need to travel for another 1 hr to japan domestic airport to take another flight to Hokkaido.. wat a long journey. approximated arrival time to hokkaido will be ard noon..sigh 12 hrs of traveling. i hope that the service from Japan Airlines will be good as it is my 1st time taking Japan Airlines and Japanese are very particulate on their services.. crossing my fingers hard:)
Ok i gtg le... time limit is up soon.. more update if i manage to get network at the rural areas of hokkaido
Sayorana

其实还爱你

其实还爱你by 阿沁
have been seriously crazy abt this song for months le..
dunnoe why i'm so crazy abt it..

finally it's time for hokkaido

Finally I've finishing packing my bag. it took me an entire day, was super ineffective and unmotivated... i guess i was too tired after working on my project till late night on Thurs. it seems to be a busy week for me. met the Ying, aud and Liting for dinner on tues, and watched harry pottter with gretel and rae... plus busy doing my handover and program proposal. i have finished all the necessary for my work but i still felt a bit unsettled.. Going to Hokkaido is a trip that i was looking forward and i thought i will be excited abt it as well.. A trip that i will unwind myself and learn to let go alot of things.. but i noe i will be missing someone. Sighz.. i noe all these shld be erased off in order for me to enjoy my trip.. but 我无法放他一个人。 i know things are hard for him lately, and i have tried my best to help within my limits.. i dunnoe how is he going to settle all things by himself, and i will not be there to provide a listening ear. Am i juz worried or feeling guilty for not able to help.. maybe i shld have burden msyelf with all these..我是人不是神。。。

4 more hours before i board the plane.. i need to get excited.!!!!

真正可怜的人
就是以为失去一样东西
就到了世界末日
如果你愿意去看的话
你知不知道你拥有的还有很多
只是你不愿意去看而已。。。。

“朵馨”

[石头剪刀布]

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

放逐。自由

突然有想去流浪的冲动
想放逐自己到处流浪
或许流浪能感受自由
被封锁的心也能从而得到解脱

Calla Lily

I used to like white flowers without any particular reason. White Lily seems to be my fav since secondary days coz they appeared to be quite elegant. However Calla Lily has secured a major position in my heart recently partly because they look gentle and delicate in appearance...

佛焰苞花意

或初露，或微放，或盛開，海芋有『佛焰苞花』獨樹一格多變的花形，一朵朵亭亭的立於晴空之下，清麗的姿態，隨著螺旋狀的花瓣捲入花心，說著一種海芋獨有的典雅氣質。

海芋物語
海芋別稱水芋、蕃海芋、野芋、馬蹄蓮。外型簡單而清純，尤其是純白色的海芋就和百合一樣給人有一種清麗脫俗的感覺，所以在英文裡，是以尼羅河百合來稱呼她，在日本則稱她為荷蘭海芋。

海芋象徵著誠實，與良好的同伴關係，很適合用在朋友之間，與幸福婚禮的場合。

問花花不語

花語的頻率與正常的心跳相同。可以數，可以聽，不要問，為什麼。

花語：雄壯之美、潔淨

花形簡單大方的海芋，擁有時髦的魅力，無論和哪一種花搭配，都蓋不住它那獨特且清雅的氣質，也因此而擁有「雄壯之美」和「清秀挺拔」等花語。
清新脫俗、純白可人的海芋，總是靜悄悄地給人們帶來一陣清涼，尤其是在暑氣漸漸逼人的初夏裡，欣賞一下它的清姿，即使再浮燥的心情也會平靜許多。
不同的顏色有不同的意義,分別是: 種類. 花語含意. 白色. 象徵青春活力、氣質高雅. 黃色. 象徵純潔、志同道合. 紅色. 象徵對對方有好感