Kylie Minogue and Kermit the Frog - Especially for You

Especially for you
I wanna let you know what I was
Going through
All the time we were apart I thought
Of you
You were in my heart
My love never changed
I still feel the same

Especially for you
I wanna tell you I was feeling that
Way too
And if dreams were wings, you
Know
I would have flown to you
To be where you are
No matter how far
And now that I’m next to you

No more dreaming about
Tomorrow
Forget the loneliness and the sorrow
I’ve got to say
It’s all because of you

And now were back together,
Together
I wanna show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you

Especially for you
I wanna tell you, you mean all the world to me
How I’m certain that our love was
Meant to be
You changed my life
You showed me the way
And now I’m next to you

I’ve waited long enough to find you
I wanna put all the hurt behind you
And I wanna bring out the love
Inside you, oh and
Now were back together, together
I wanna show you my

Feeling tired but thankful..

How i wish i can tkae a nap during lunch break but too bad the environement is just too noisy for me to take a short nap. but anyway i dont think i should complain. well I think it has been a fruitful day so far(at least till now)and i've seen many many cases with the ultimate speed so that i can nua a bit in the afternoon to end the day well. Woke up at 4am and patiently wait for wc to drive me to the airport to send yiqin off t(I think i will miss her badly). I thought that we might tear abit but i guess the presence of wc did make the situation light hearted with his lame and cold jokes and remarks. but thank dear for the efforts.

Dar, Thanks for accompanying me to the airport despite you are not having adequate sleep (poor thing). I know it is hard for you to be alert for the whole day when you dont have a good quality of sleep last night. Thanks for the efforts for borrowing the car from your dad (i know it is hard), and making sure the sunlight doesnt shone on me when i'm taking my nap on the way to work. I'm grateful and thankful to have you with me. It is great to have you with me. And nevertheless my faith is slowly building up.

Is it really true for the Leo...?

LEO the Lion

Leo and Independence:
Leo is very independent but they need something to control and someone to admire them and appreciate them. They are fully capable of being greatly successful on their own but they are much happier if they have an audience and a following of people who look up to them. They would prefer not be alone.

Leo and Friendship:
People are attracted to Leo's zest for life and their warm spirit. They have the ability to lift up one's spirits and provide encouragement when times are rough. Their enthusiasm attracts people, Leos are social butterflies, not because they want to be but because people always naturally gravitate and surround the Leo. Leos are very difficult people to not like, they are usually fairly balanced, realistic people. They never dwell on the past and they will think you are strange if you do. Some Leos might be too caught up in themselves and be very self-centered but they are never too self-absorbed to help anyone who needs it. They pamper their friends and treat them well. A Leo is the ultimate friend. They do not hold a grudge and they are very forgiving. They have respect and understanding of people's differences.

Leo and Business:
Business dealings are easy and successful for Leo, if they are in command and control. This can cause conflict in the workplace should the Leo not be in a position of superiority, but they usually get there eventually thanks to their powerful drive to succeed, in other words, they are excellent leaders because this is their kingdom they have to control, and they do it well. Leo has an amazing ability to get along with people and they work best in a group as opposed to alone. They can be very diplomatic in a group setting and can delegate people well, however Leo will not take orders. They need to give orders but with their enthusiasm and cheerfulness, other people do not have a problem taking orders from a Leo because they are never condescending and they treat others with respect and equality. Leos are full of drama, flair and extravagance and this reflects in the business world. They make an impact, they make a difference in the workplace and help to keep the parts moving in sync and iron out any problems before they arise. If the business fails, that means that Leo fails and they are extremely determined not to fail. Leo is the most extravagant sender of all astrology signs. They will not over do it but they will surround themselves with luxury as much as possible. They will never settle for second best.

Leo Temperament:
Leo loves the new and extraordinary, they despise dull, regular routines and if this is what they are faced with, they will simply create their own drama and excitement. This makes Leo prone to stir up a situation out of nowhere just for something to keep their vivacious temperament satisfied. Leo has an amazing ability to bounce back from any feelings of despair or unfortunate events. They do not like to be unhappy, it hurts their pride so they will take matters into their own hands and make things right again. Leos could come into conflict with other powerhouse type of people who will not take orders and not give an inch, Leos will not budge their opinion, they will understand and accept opinions of others but they do not take well to people to try to impose their beliefs on them. Leo most often have the temperament of a demanding, spoiled child but this is only shown if someone steps on the boundaries of their kingdom. They react this way because of their territoriality.

Leo Deep Inside:
Leos are extremely sensitive but they hide that very well. Leos love praise and flattery, their egos demand respect and adoration. Leo is all about pride. This can cause them to be self-centered but the warmth of the Leo heart keeps it under control. If Leo's audience (otherwise known as their friends) do not provide the needed appreciation, Leo is too proud to ask for it and they will suffer a hurt ego, but no one will ever know and they will suffer in silence. The secret of the Leo is that they need to be needed.

Leo in a Nutshell:
Leo is the lion, this well suited symbol represents Leo very well. They possess a kingdom which they protest and cherish. The are high esteemed, honorable and very devoted to themselves in particular! The kingdom could be anything from work to home to a partner, whatever it is, you rule it. Leo is always center stage and full of flair, they enjoy basking in the spotlight. A Leo always makes their presence known. Leo are full of energy that acts like a magnet for other people. Others are attracted to Leo's wit, charm, and what they have to say for they speak of things grand and very interesting. Leo will never settle for second best. They want only the best which can cause lavish excessive spending habits as they enjoy their life of luxury, which is all to easily justified by the grand and magnificent Leo! Public image is very important to Leo, with luxurious possessions and ways of life, this keeps the public image in high standing. They will do whatever it takes to protect their own reputation. Leos are very generous, kind and openhearted people. If a Leo is crossed, they will strike back with force but they are not one to hold a grudge, they easily forgive, forget and move on. Leos are always trying to make things right in the world, they have larger then life emotions and they need to feel like they have accomplished something at the end of the day. They react to situations with action instead of sitting back and thinking about it, they are not impulsive however because they look at the future and consider consequences of their actions.

What it's like to date a Leo Woman:
The first step is to give her praise and adoration. The relationship will never work if she does not receive this from you. Do not look at other women when you are with her, she has to be the only one in your eyes. The thought of competition with other women completely turns her off, for she is marvelous and grand and better then any other woman (in her eyes)! Be prepared however to compete with other men. She attracts men, deliberately or not, because of her dazzling personality. She makes a good partner because she gives undying affection and love and makes you feel really mood about yourself. She is kind and supportive with an adventurous streak, she is always fun to be with. Leo woman will dominate,. But not completely for she still needs the man to lead the way and give her the desired sense of approval, she looks up to her man. Leo woman is perfect for the man who is affectionate and has a strong character but not too controlling. She needs someone who is passionate about everything in their life and who strives for the best in everything, because so does she.

What it's like to date a Leo Man:
The Leo man falls in love easily and it usually does not last. This is because his emotional ideals of a grand and magnificent love affair quickly turn into reality. Leo man needs a woman who is grounded and in-tune with the realities of life so she can help him keep his feet on the ground. He may seem like he is casual and detached about love but this is not the case, he needs adoration and approval and if he receives this, he feels quite passionately inside and will treat her with amazing affection and be a wonderful cheerful companion. The Leo man appears to be a rock solid unemotional king but truthfully, he is very sensitive. He wants a woman who caters to him, not in a demanding way but he thinks he is entitled to this because of how great he is. Leo men are prone to be self-centered but underneath they are gentle and have lots of love to give providing the woman can give him what he wants. Leos get along with just about anyone and just about any type of girl is suited to him. The woman who caters to him and overlooks his faults (he thinks he does not have any) and the woman who does not nag at him will obviously have preference and a chance at a long term relationship. If the relationship lasts, eventually she will have to teach him that he is not the only great thing in the world.

Sex With Leo:
First impressions would tell you that Leo is all about the kinky and novelty, but that is not so. They are deeply sensual and passionate and enjoy posh surroundings, such as candles and scented oils and lots of affectionate physical contact such as massages and rubbing. They like sex to be familiar, not necessarily routine, but they like to know what's going on. This is because Leo always has to be the best and if there is a suggestion or something offered that they have never done before, they would rather pass on the chance then attempt it and be only satisfactory. Leo has mastered the moves he know, so do not be disappointed with the lack of novelty and variety, because Leo is very good at what they can do, they are the best.

Leo most Compatible with: Aries, Sagittarius, Gemini, Libra

Worst Match for Leo: Scorpio

原谅我

请不要分了以後还记得 亲吻过的承诺
你的永久 已不属於我
默默低头 那时我 很多话梗在喉咙
你的笑你的快乐不是我 爱太多想太多
我能感受 他比我适合
爱放了手 我伪装冷漠 比你先说分手
请原谅我 原谅我不成熟
不爱你是藉口 好让你离开我
请原谅我 好想自私将你占有
一个寂寞就给我承受 换你过更好的生活
请不要分了以後还记得 亲吻过的承诺
你的永久 已不属於我
默默低头 那时我 很多话梗在喉咙
你的笑你的快乐不是我 爱太多想太多
我能感受 他比我适合
爱放了手 我伪装冷漠 比你先说分手
请原谅我 原谅我不成熟
不爱你是藉口 好让你离开我
请原谅我 好想自私将你占有
一个寂寞就给我承受 换你过更好的生活
爱过恨过哭过也笑过
亲吻过你的脆弱
其实我比谁都要懦弱
原谅我 必须假装爱错
别让时间倒流 我怕说不出口
原谅我 没有解释太多心痛
别无所求彻底忘了我 爱原来要舍得
我 难过
我 才懂

For the Leo to know the Cancer better...

CANCER the Crab

Cancer and Independence:
Cancer is the astrology sign that is packed full of contradictions so when it comes to independence, they possibly can or can not be independent. On one side, they have the perseverance and drive to do what needs to be done, they are self-sufficient and do not need to depend on other people for the material and physical things in life. On the other hand, they depend on people for emotional support and encouragement. A Cancer that is not fully self-actualized will need the constant support of others and will not be very independent but the Cancer that is 'evolved' and has properly harnessed their emotional issues will be wildly successful as an independent human being. They crave attention and comfort from other people and they are happiest when they have a small, close knit group of friends or family.

Cancer and Friendship:
Cancer is extremely loyal to those who appreciate and support them, they are the nurturer of the zodiac and will protect and cherish the person for a long time. One of the greatest things about Cancer is their ability to make others feel good about themselves and loved. This is because instead of doing this for themselves, they project this onto other people. This is a positive cycle because in making others feel nurtured, wanted and loved, they in return feel good for making someone feel good. Other people can lean on and depend on cancer, they will listen to people's problems and help them however they will rarely express their own deep feelings to anyone. People who want to share deep emotional thoughts and opinions with a Cancer might feel that the scales are tipped on one side for cancer will rarely reveal it's true deep feelings. A friend of Cancer is usually a lifelong devoted friend that can be trusted.

Cancer and Business:
Once cancer resolved their emotional issues such as shyness and insecurity, the powerful character will shine though, there is practically nothing they can't do. They have incredible perseverance and will stand up for what they believe in. With their strong intuition, sensitivity, powers of observation and intelligence, they will have great success in anything they undertake. They are excellent business people and investors because of their intuitive and psychic ability and their creative forward thinking mind, they are able to predict future trends. They attract wealth very well and know where to invest. Money and financial well being is very important to Cancer and this can help their drive in business. They need financial security and if they allow themselves to properly focus their energy and do not allow their emotions to over take them, they are more then capable of obtaining their financial goals and being incredibly successful business people.

Cancer Temperament:
They are complex, fragile, unpredictable and temperamental and need constant support and encouragement, more then any other astrology signs, Cancer needs to be needed. Even when all needs are satisfied, they can be irritable and cranky. They have an uneasy, delicate temperament. The contradictory nature of Cancer gives their temperament the wild mood swings and possible temper tantrums. They are easily offended and will sulk and wallow in self pity for a long time when they get hurt.

Cancer Deep Inside:
It is difficult for cancer to open up and have a close emotionally fulfilled relationship with someone because they are so closed off emotionally and physically to the world. This is driven by their fear of trust, Cancer has a difficult time trusting people. This causes built up anger and resentment inside, the contradictory nature really takes a toll on them and they can have a negative outlook on life, thinking that life is just too hard and miserable. This is unfortunate because when good experiences are to be had, they are skeptical of people and their surroundings and they experience tunnel vision due to their depressed outlook and they miss the nice things and happy experiences in life that make it worth living. In addition to lack of trust for people, Cancer is deeply sensitive and easily hurt, this is other reason why they have their defense shell in place, to avoid being hurt by others. Cancer lives in the past. They hold past events close to them and often dwell on the past. They have to learn to let go and live in the present instead of spending their time being sick with nostalgia. Cancer has a lot of emotional issues to deal with but once they overcome this large hump of shyness and insecurity, there is practically nothing they can't do. With their strong intuition, sensitivity, powers of observation and intelligence, they will have great success in anything they undertake. Cancer is constantly feeling, feelings and emotions are hallmarks of this sign and this is the root of their problems, human beings are not as evolved in the emotional area and this is where cancer gets the brunt of their problems. They are the ones who have to cope with their strong feelings more so then any other sign. Once properly harnessed, there is nothing that is this powerful astrology sign can not accomplish. Harmony is very important to Cancer, it keeps them happy. Conflict of any kind causes great distress. Deep inside, Cancer is a very powerful sign, they have the ability to stand up for what they think is right and they have lots of perseverance and can be fine on their own provided they don't let their emotions get the better of them and have the stability they need. They are not fond of change but they have the ability to do what needs to be done, they are not pushovers or lazy people.

Cancer in a Nutshell:
Cancer is a mysterious sign, filled with contradictions. They want security and comfort yet seek new adventure. They are very helpful to others yet sometimes can be cranky and indifferent. Cancer has a driving, forceful personality that can be easily hidden beneath a calm, and cool exterior. The crab is Cancer's ruling animal and it suits them well, they can come out of their shell and fight but they can also hide in their shell of skitter away back into the depths of the ocean. They are very unpredictable. With cancer, there is always something more that meets the eye, for they are always partially hidden behind the shell. They are a have a deep psyche and intuitive mind that is hidden from the world. Cancer is deeply sensitive and easily hurt, this might be why they have their defense shell in place, to avoids being hurt by others. They are nurturers so they surround themselves with people, whom after a while can offend or hurt a cancer without even knowing they did so, therefore Cancer's protective shell keeps them safe from hurt. They are complex, fragile, unpredictable and temperamental and need constant support and encouragement, more then any other astrology signs, Cancer needs to be needed. When cancer gets the support it needs, it has a tremendous amount to offer in return. When cancer gets offended, they tend to sulk instead of confronting the persons face to face. This needlessly prolongs the pain and suffering. Cancer is very possessive, not just with material possessions but with people as well. Cancer will always want to stay in touch with old friends and anyone who has ever been close to them, because it is easier to maintain a friendship then attempt to learn to trust a new person. It is easier this way for them emotionally. If you befriend a Cancer, you will stay friends for a long time. Cancer makes the perfect mother, this is the sign that represents motherhood. They have unconditional love and caring more so then any other astrology sign. Cancer are very intuitive. Most of the psychics of the world are Cancer astrology signs. They have an excellent memory and are very observant and can read people very well. They can usually tell of other people's intentions are good or not. Never dupe a Cancer, they can see your motives. Cancer has a lot of emotional issues to deal with but once they overcome this large hump of shyness and insecurity, there is practically nothing they can't do. With their strong intuition, sensitivity, powers of observation and intelligence, they will have great success in anything they undertake.

What it's like to date a Cancer Woman:
The Cancer woman is a very sensual woman with deep emotions and passion brewing underneath the exterior. To reach these will require time, patience and tenderness. Do not expect to have her open up to you right away and jump into a relationship. She will not make the first move and will not be forward with you, you have to do all the work. Do not try to lead her on because Cancer woman is very in-tune with a persons motivations and she will see right through you. Trust is the single most important thing to Cancer. If you ever betray her trust, you might as well move on. She needs love and security. Cancer is the perfect woman for the man who loves to sweep a woman off her feet with romance. She is sensual, sweet and flirty and you two will engage in a gentle, flirtatious dance together while the relationship builds. Once there is a solid, secure foundation, the richness of the relationship will emerge. She is old fashioned, feminine and sensual and patient, if you are the man who can give her what she wants, a relationship with a Cancer woman is wholesome and rewarding and can last a lifetime.

What it's like to date a Cancer Man:
The Cancer man will not be direct with you. He will approach you cautiously and slowly. He will be very romantic and flirty and attempt to court you and win your heart with lavish gifts and attention. The reason he will never be direct with you is that he has a strong underlying fear of rejection. Of you are interested in a Cancer man, you will probably have to make the first move and ask him on a date. He falls in love easily and will make you his whole world. Once you "belong to him", he will hold on to you and can become quite jealous and possessive. This is because he is worried he will lose you to another man and that would crush his spirit. He needs you to be loyal and faithful for he is the same, in a strong and close relationship, Cancer men are the most loyal of the astrology signs. They make excellent lovers for the tender woman who loves romance and being swept off her feet. Cancer is very affectionate and thrives on holding hands all the time, and constant physical contact as he absorbs the situation and experiences with his feelings. The cancer man is all about feeling. He might not show it however and might portray a calm and cool exterior but underneath, he feels deeply and intensely. Cancer men are easily offended so do not jokingly make fun of them for they will take offense and get hurt, but once again, this will not be known to you. He will simply sulk on his own while he tries to figure out and dissect what you said. Cancer men are excellent male protectors, they are like the knight in shining armor. If you are the kind of woman that likes being looked after and cared for, and loves affection and devotion, this romantic, sensual man is perfect for you.

Sex With Cancer:
Cancer is very physical. Expect sex with Cancer to be a fully encompassing sexual experience. Lots of tender foreplay, massages afterwards, candles lit by the bedside, soft music in the background, delicious scented potpourri, everything to appeal to all senses. It will be delicate and passionate and an experience you won't soon forget. To not expect too much novelty and experimentation because Cancer is a very conservative sign. Some Cancer people might be willing to try something new but they will never be the ones to suggest it, you have to or it will never happen. They might go along with your idea because they do enjoy new experiences. Make them always feel safe and secure when trying anything new and they might love it and incorporate it into your regular sex life.

Cancer most Compatible with: Scorpio, Taurus, Virgo, Pisces

Worst Match for Cancer: Aries

把自己捆在一个角落
我的世界顿时变得黑暗
空气变的稀薄
心中的恐慌与害怕不断地涌上
眼中的泪水已无法隐藏
我需要一个拥抱
一个真真实实的拥抱
一个实实在在的拥抱
来证明我的存在
来赶走心中的不安

原来我不是想像重那么坚强的一个人

眼淚笑了

害怕

因为拥有了曾经以为不可能的东西
我开始害怕失去
失去手中紧握得一切
我以为我会很洒脱
但我想这是不可能了
因为我在乎

如果真的有这一天
我想我会学着勇敢
命令眼泪不许失控
勇敢的站着找回光和热

面对你的时候我不会舍不得

因为你是过客因为路有些曲折

是美的

因为有你

我的世界出现了绚烂的烟火

Interesting blog to explore

http://roomfulloffun.blogspot.com

It's Dinner time....

Heading towards Amk Hub to get our ingredients for the dinner.... Mr Koh, dont peep... concentrate on your driving....

Happy shopping at the big big Extra hypermarket...

Mr Koh focusing in his cooking...

Garlic Bread without the use of the toaster... Mr. Koh did it in the conventional way which I didnt even know previously... Looked burnt but tasted good!! :)

A feast prepared by Mr Koh. Tomate-based spaghetti, mushrooms corn soup and garlic bread

Yummy... Mr Koh.. when will be our next feast..?

faith

i think i need more faith in certain things...
soemthing that others can help but only me...

摄影。心情

我喜欢摄影
虽然我不是很懂得
但我还是很喜欢它
我喜欢透过摄影机来看这个世界
喜欢用心来拍摄
喜欢透过镜框捕捉下当下的心情
我总觉得透过镜框捕捉下来的画面是敏锐、敏感的
在镜头地下每个人都是赤裸裸， 无法隐藏
它能捕捉下当时的气氛、人的情感、还有人与人的暗号
只要你用心你就能感受到这一切。。。



你能感受到我想表达的一切吗？

延续。幸福

现在的我是贪心的
我希望我所拥有的幸福会一直延续下去
想一直被你疼
想一直拥有着被呵护的感觉

I'll be there

For you...

如果可以。。。我想

如果可以。。。 我想一直静静看着你
如果可以。。。 我想一直守候在你身边
如果可以。。。 我想一直依赖着你
如果可以。。。 我想一直对着你撒娇
如果现在的一切是个梦
如果可以。。。 我想继续做这个梦。。 。
一直直沉睡不醒。。。
一直沉睡下去
因为这一切是美的
因为这一切是甜蜜的

平行线 JS

[歌詞] 平行線~JS

詞/曲：JS

哥：我聽見　她說出那句似曾相識的再見
　　才發現愛情又再次回到原點　轉眼臺北是冬天

妹：想忘卻　等待著未知愛情那種不確定的感覺
　　也許在東京的地鐵　隱藏著註定的遇見

合：不過是暫時擱淺　受過的傷終能復原
　　找新的起點　從今天 不想再把路繞遠
卻總是擦肩　總是心中描繪的畫面
　　遇不上一個對的人實現　怎麼找到永遠

　　卻總是忽略　忽略身邊平凡的一切
　　去追逐不切實際的明天　繼續和真愛走在平行線

哥：黑夜有多黑

妹：我現在才體會

合：完美其實不完美　也許我　永遠無法從愛裏畢業　只能把回憶封箱做紀念

傻傻

跟你在一起
我想我是幸福的
我拥有着小小的幸福
跟你在一起的每一分钟
我都在洋溢着幸福的笑脸
喜欢看着你为我担心，紧张的脸
喜欢看着你不停亏我的脸
我喜欢对着你撒娇
我喜欢手里有你的温度
我在学习满足
学习依赖着你
学习习惯我们这暧昧的关系。。。
我想一直这样的傻傻的喜欢着你。。。

Love remains the same

A thousand times I've seen you standing
Gravity like a lunar landing
Make me want to run till I find you
Shut the world away from here, drift to you, you're all I hear
Everything we know fades to black

Half the time the world is ending, truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I had any more to give
Pushing me so far here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost, mistakes that we have made
Everything will change, love remains the same

Find a place where we escape
Take you with me for a space
A city bus that sounds just like a fridge
Walk the streets through seven bars
I had to find just out where you are
The faces seen to blur they're all the same

Half the time the world is ending, truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I had any more to give
You're pushing me so far here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost, mistakes that we have made
Everything will change, love remains the same

So much more to say, so much to be done
Don't you trick me out, we shall overcome
Cause our love stays ablaze

We should have had the sun
Could have been inside
Instead we're over here

Half the time the world is ending, truth is I am done pretending
Too much time to love defending, you and I are done pretending

I never thought that I had any more to give
You're pushing me so far here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost, mistakes that we have made
Everything will change, everything will change

Oh, I...

This could last forever

Oh, I...

We could last forever

Love remains the same
Love remains the same

I remember I miss

I remember I used to look forward for my birthday...
I remember those days that you would buy a cake for me when the rest had forgotten
I remember every year you would prepare steamboat for us to celebrate our birthday together
I remember that you would never want us to buy any presents for you...
I remember that you always get contented with all of us gather together at your place to have the steamboat...
This year it will be my 3rd birthday without your presence
I'm still trying to get use to your absence
I miss the steamboat you prepare and i really miss the slacker's attitude you possess....
Birthday without you feel different
I miss you

acute myelogenous leukemia

"Acute myeloid leukemia (AML), also known as acute myelogenous leukemia, is a cancer of the myeloid line of white blood cells, characterized by the rapid proliferation of abnormal cells which accumulate in the bone marrow and interfere with the production of normal blood cells. AML is the most common acute leukemia affecting adults, and its incidence increases with age.

The symptoms of AML are caused by replacement of normal bone marrow with leukemic cells, resulting in a drop in red blood cells, platelets, and normal white blood cells. These symptoms include fatigue, shortness of breath, easy bruising and bleeding, and increased risk of infection. Although several risk factors for AML have been identified, the specific cause of AML remains unclear. As an acute leukemia, AML progresses rapidly and is typically fatal within weeks or months if left untreated.

The early signs of AML are often non-specific, and may be similar to those of influenza or other common illnesses. Some generalized symptoms include fever, fatigue, weight loss or loss of appetite, shortness of breath with exertion, anemia, easy bruising or bleeding, petechiae (flat, pin-head sized spots under the skin caused by bleeding), bone pain and joint pain and persistent or frequent infections.

Enlargement of the spleen may occur in AML, but it is typically mild and asymptomatic. Lymph node swelling is rare in AML, in contrast to acute lymphoblastic leukemia. The skin is involved about 10% of the time in the form of leukemia cutis. Rarely, Sweet's syndrome, a paraneoplastic inflammation of the skin, can occur with AML.

Some patients with AML may experience swelling of the gums because of infiltration of leukemic cells into the gum tissue. Rarely, the first sign of leukemia may be the development of a solid leukemic mass or tumor outside of the bone marrow, called a chloroma. Occasionally, a person may show no symptoms, and the leukemia may be discovered incidentally during a routine blood test

Acute myeloid leukemia is a potentially curable disease; but only a minority of patients are cured with current therapy. AML is treated initially with chemotherapy aimed at inducing a remission; some patients may go on to receive a hematopoietic stem cell transplant."

Courtesy from Wikipedia

“你对我的好让我不知道该这么办”

抉择

我的心又开始动摇了
在值得与不值得之间
做出选择
我又在害怕
害怕面对后的结果
害怕我所付出的一切
是如此不堪一击
害怕失去我的尊严
害怕失去想爱的勇气
现在的我
好乱好不安
我慌了

黄靖伦

蔡淳佳 - 倒愛

倒愛 - 蔡淳佳
作詞：廖素儀　作曲：王志文

在大樹和腳踝之間
纏繞你的誓言
所以撐著
所以心甘情愿

就算愛得很不安全
顛倒了藍天
至少可以
換個角度來相戀

我以為倒著流眼淚
不經過臉不傷悲
就算看起來受罪
幸福有時候另類

每當我倒著流眼淚
一顆一顆都珍貴
灌溉了愛的滋味
狼狽也覺得美

我懂松綁的自由
卻無力伸出雙手
反正忘了路怎么走
我只能傻傻地守候

过去、遗憾

很多时候在做一些抉择时，
每个人的判断都被过去的种种所影响
但他们是否想过自己曾因过去而有所领悟
别再为过去牵绊住
绑住了自己， 捆住了心中的渴望
别在为了过去的造就现在的遗憾
放开胸怀吧！！

我想你

到底我每天究竟要想你几次？
我不知道。。。
我只知道我现在拥有另类的幸福
一个酸酸甜甜的幸福。。。
我不想被噩梦袭击
击退好不容易决定的立场
我想珍惜这另类的幸福
我想一直拥有着幸福

"现在的我，
手里的汤匙正胡乱搅拌着浮在咖啡上的奶晕
金属与马克杯的瓷缘合奏出没章法的敲击声
叮叮叮当， 当叮当叮。
就好像我现在的心情，没有节奏
却很想表达些什么。。。"

九把刀 [等一个人咖啡]

拔河

期待在和现实拔河
答案或许会在这个拔河比赛揭晓
我不想再退缩
我必须继续勇敢。。。

Wishlist..

It is always this time of the year I'm having a big headache.. as everyone will ask me for my wishlist... Seriously I really dont have anything I need or want desperately... even i have... it will be too expensive and I rather get it on my own...

But I do have a don't want list..
- No voucher
- No bag (i have a lot le)
- No shoes

If you really need me to create a wishlist... here it goes
- A bouquet of flowers (but not from my friends... not any kinds of flowers but something i love...)
- Happiness and laughter for all my friends...
- Accompany from my friends...

So it is rather simple.. but i do know that some are hard to accomplish...
BUt i think you all can do it lah...
*ps i know it is lame but i'm serious*

给某某某

当有一个人愿意成为你的大树时
这一刻，你是幸福的。。。
这一刻，你不必担心外头的天气
因为大树会一直为你挡风遮雨。。。
我相信这棵大树会的，
一定会的
因为我看到它的用心
也看到它的心意
所以。。。
朋友， 你要幸福哟！！

你一定会幸福的！！




两个人看夕阳的感觉好甜蜜。。。

you made my day...

Life can be that simple when one get contented easily...
I'm contented today because of simple things happened...
SMS exchange does have the power to brighten a person's day...
well I guess I can sleep fairly well tonight..
晚安地球人！！

像断了翼的蝴蝶
我在天空不停的盘旋
我在很努力的挥动着翅膀
却一直原地踏步
好想继续飞翔
我想我会慢慢复原的

幸福的风

因为我永远只能一个人生活
孤单的快乐哀愁
偶尔可以伪装潇洒
只有心里慌乱起来自己喝酒
因为你只是一个美丽的偶然
吹淋我不经意降落
谁知道你不同
谁知道你不走
拥抱著我说终于找到了我
你看穿我的轮廓
亲吻我的奋勇
不在乎我曾经的错
如果不是你的款款温柔
还以为真爱只是一个传说
请相信我的承诺
虽然有点笨拙
但我看见幸福的风
如果我把我的手放在背后
愿不愿意牵著一起走
愿不愿意牵著到最后


我想这样牵着你的手， 陪你一起走
这会不会是我一厢情愿的奢望。。。

"愛一個人,是很沒有尊嚴,很沒有尊嚴的,如果那個人不愛你的話"

不管结果如何我想留一点点属于我的尊严。。。

十字路口

我正在人生的十字路口思考
思考着应该往前走、转个弯
还是原地踏步
这条路是否饱含着‘我们’
还是只有孤单的‘我’
或许决定踏上的路
风景并不美丽
但我会好好的品尝它其中的滋味

守望麦田、后续

我对他的守候，
就像守望着迎风的麦田一样，
只要他开心， 我就为他开心，
风来了，
无边无际的麦田便迎风摇曳，
发出沙沙的笑声，
风离去，
我内心那片为他守候的麦田也就无声无息，
感觉不到一点欢喜。。。

现在的我变得很贪心
我否决了当初的决定
希望能和他一起分享所有的喜怒哀乐。。。
现在的我一点都不满足。。。

插曲2

无论过去如何、未来又会怎样，
那一刻是很幸福、甜蜜的，
能让我依赖着他，
就算只是为他唱一段插曲，
我就已经心满意足。。。

但那一刻是否有出现过
那一段插曲是否有机会唱。。。

蒙

没有心情的一天
有一颗想逃的心
或许我的心从来没有决定
决定不爱你
决定把你当成朋友
我以为我可以沉溺在那股简单快乐
那几天发生的事否决了这个想法
那一晚对我来说是一个梦
一个很美的梦
一个我不想醒来的梦
一个让我想不听追逐答案的梦
因为一个梦 一个答案
我遍体鳞伤
我快要窒息了

孤單心事 specially dedicated to u...

雨下在我窗前玻璃也在流眼泪
街上的人都看起来比我幸福一点
用寂寞来测验还是最想要你陪
曾一起走过的夏天我常常会梦见
我猜不到你真正的感觉
思念写成脸上的黑眼圈
有的时候我宁愿你对我坏一点
无法停止幻想我们的永远
爱你是孤单的心事不懂你微笑的意思
只能像一朵向日葵在夜里默默的坚持
爱你是孤单的心事多希望你对我诚实
一直爱着你用我自己的方式
我在你的心里有没有一点特别
就怕你终究没发现我还在你身边
我猜不到你真正的感觉
思念写成脸上的黑眼圈
有的时候我宁愿你对我坏一点
无法停止幻想我们的永远
爱你是孤单的心事不懂你微笑的意思
只能像一朵向日葵在夜里默默的坚持
爱你是孤单的心事多希望你对我诚实
一直爱着你用我自己的方式
爱你是孤单的心事不懂你微笑的意思
只能像一朵向日葵在夜里默默的坚持
爱你是孤单的心事多希望你对我诚实
一直爱着你用我自己的方式


At least this is how i feel now...

I wish I wish I wish

I wish I wish I wish...
It is just a dream...
A bitter and full of anger dreamz...
It should be just a dreamz..
or else those things i believe in are just lies...

简单快乐

The last thing I want to admit is that I just cant take my eyes off you....
you seem to have that power to make me think of you...
for everything you have done... you manage to 牵动着我的思绪
有人问我为什么无法看到别人， 眼睛里只有你。。。
有人问我是否满足于现状。。。
Yes, I'm contented with the current situation...
I guess this is the only way that I can face you in the most relaxing manner...
I have been praying hard that you will be happy and you deserve to have all the happiness in the world...
and I will give you all my blessings when the time comes...
i'm not asking much,... just be with you is sufficient...to me it is a 简单快乐without any burden..
And I believe that right one will come to me in the future...

Closure...

I teared today when my friend was sharing her granny's condition with me...
I'm sorry for this but I just couldnt help it...
I feel for it, and such feelings are so real...
They are something I felt before
Not only once but twice, and I struggled through that period...
I need to admit that I haven had any closures for those events...
I wonder whether I have a chance to do a proper closure...
There are a lot of things which are not within my controls...
especially my thoughts..
but can i do anything?
I dont think so...
My thoughts just choose to remain in the past...

nelgected

being neglected is how i feel like now... not wanting to elaborate further but i just feel that i'm not being valued or included in the group. Yes, I'm busy but doesnt mean that i should not be invited...

recent fav songs...

WOW - I believe in love



深白色2人組 花火



深白色2人組 Cold Silence


JS 我知道你愛我


不愛你-阿爆&Brandy

When a GIRL is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind. When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply. When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around. When a GIRL answers " I'm fine " after a few seconds ... she is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying. When a GIRL lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered. When a GIRL says " I love you " ... she means it. When a GIRL says " I miss you " ... no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person .... Find a guy ... who calls you beautiful instead of hot. who calls you back when you hang up on him. who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who ... kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Who turns to his friends and says, " That's her!! "

新谣

Watching S-pop concert brings me a lot of memories that were previously forgotten...
There are a lot of emotions attached to the songs presented...
Although these songs do not belong to my era, I came to know that when I was organising the 新谣节when i was in JC2...
I remember I had a hard time researching on the songs, composer, original singers and backgrounds of the songs,and I was doing alone.... Of course the toughest parts were to select the songs.
If i din remember wrongly this is the songlist that was presented on that day:
- 细水长流
- 邂逅
- 说时以旧
- 你的倒影
- 恋之憩
- 你是我的唯一
- 让夜轻轻落下
- 我们这一班


*i sang this osng with Zhengzhong*




I wonder when will i have the chance to sing these songs with the group that I had that day...

yucky gastristis...

erm.. i think my gastristis started to miss me again..
so i supposed it is coming to re-visit me...
sighz.. nausea and vommitting have became parts and parcels of my life recently...
and there is always a constant stirring feeling in my stomach... yuck..
severe stomachache has waken me from my lovely dreams leaving me fully wake for the rest of the night suffering from the pain...
I have been refraining myself from eating things that i like...
y did it continue to progress.. sighz..
now i guess i just need to have a fever so that i can be diagnosed as gastristis or gastroentristis...

sighz.. i think my nightmare is approaching again...

bye bye good days..

Sakamoto Ryuichi - Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence

我以为

我在想你

我以為
想念是因為不習慣
習慣了就不再想念
為何我在想念你呢?
在遠方的你, 過的安好嗎?
是否能感應到我對你的思念...
我好想你!

恋空 Sky of Love

Today I finally found time to catch the jap movie, Sky of love (恋空) which I was so keen to watch when i saw the movie poster. Well it is a typical jap romance story but I do think that it was well-filmed. Other than 心愿 and 夏之雪, 恋空is the recent movie that made me cried... plus a long lasting heartache.

Trailer (long version)


Movie Trailer


[恋空]主题曲


[恋空]插曲


Synoposis
2000年夏天，极其普通的高中一年级女学生美嘉，因为机缘巧合认识了高大帅气的同级生弘树并开始和他交往。至今为止还没谈过恋爱的美嘉很快就与弘树坠入爱河。
但是，美好的恋情才刚开始，一个意想不到的不幸遭遇就向美嘉袭来……还好，弘树的爱情支持着美嘉，也渐渐治愈了美嘉心里的伤痕，两个人的心靠得更近了。可就在这时，两人又得到一个惊人的消息：美嘉怀上了弘树的孩子！听到这个消息的弘树笑着对美嘉说：“那就给我生个孩子吧！”
上天似乎对他们特别不公平，约好了要一起抚养孩子的两个人，在平安夜遭遇了又一场不幸。这次不幸让美嘉和弘树的羁绊越来越深……
然而，越过重重阻碍、发誓要永远在一起的两人，却在高中2年级的春天，因为弘树的突然告别而中断了这份爱情。
第一次失恋的痛苦深深地刺伤了美嘉的心。为了切断对弘树的思念，美嘉开始和爱慕自己的大学生优交往。优的温柔体贴让美嘉的心安静下来，觉得就这样和优平静的交往也不错。可就在美嘉进入大学后的第一个平安夜，却发现了一个意想不到的事实。那是弘树一直没有告诉美嘉的秘密……

插曲

有些时候，明知道只是一首插曲， 但仍然希望唱的全心全力。
因为。。。 那是为你唱的。。。
不管你会不会欣赏
插曲唱完了， 也是时候我应该走开了。。。
离开后，
你是否会想念这首插曲。。。？

那些日子 林宥嘉

简单。快乐

看着学弟学妹在田径无忧无虑的奔驰着
我怀念当初的简单
如果不快乐是成长的代价
我想拥有那一些些的单纯
简简单单的过生活
很开心我能心中毫无芥蒂的面对你
能简简单单的面对着你
我不曾对现在的结果有任何遗憾
我明白做朋友是一辈子的事
所以这样的结果也不坏啊？！
我已放下了
真的放下了
现在的我终于的简简单单面对着你
这样的简单
这样的单纯
这样的我
现在是快乐的。。。

守望麥田

內心深處
我只希望她會看見
我守護她的那片心情
像麥天裡隨著風有時伏倒有時飛揚的麥繐
那篇金黃色的浪濤
不論是起是落
都只為了她微風一樣的笑容


太子

forget...

I thought everything will be over... it should be over...
but i still feel it... sense of jealousy... sense of unhappiness...
gotten a bit tipsy but i still feel it...
i thought i'm strong but i'm afraid i'm not...
the aching feeling remains... it seems that it does not wear off...
every breathe that i take.... the pain remains...
i still enjoy the moments that i spend with you...
there is nothing for me to fear on...
coz i know that when you are around... i'm well-protected though your love for me is not what i'm hoping for...

sometimes, i'm just wondering whether i have a choice in my life...
What will i do if i'm not an occupational therapist?
Will i be happier and less stressful in my career?
a lot of thoughts is running around...
shit..
I know one day I will be forced to leave under some circumstances...
will my life be that satisfying as ever?
will i really get to do things that i like?
I know it is nice to dress nicely doing a office work...
all days staying in the office enjoying the air con...
is this wat i want wat i like?

Overview of 2007

2007, a year of unexpected, and emotional struggle
A lot of things have happened, and most caught me off guard..
2007 is a year which I felt lost and hoping to holding onto anything that come
A year which I realised that hard work and effort do not lead to recognition
A year which I felt the ideal is only a delusion
A year which I experienced a lot of emotional struggle and lost of directions...
A year which I do not what I really want in fact
All the things that happened had made me grow in a way...
Yes.. I can say that I'm braver and mature than previous...
but trying to perserve the child-like nature...
I know what I want now in terms of relationship...
I'm still looking forward to it... but just let the nature take its course...
What will come will definitely come
I have a clearer idea of what I hope to achieve in my work and study
and I believe that I will strive towards it...
I know it's hard to do well in both when I only have time for only 1...
But things will work out by its own..,
and I know that I will have utmost support from my friends...

2008 will be a better year for me...
Though I have nothing much to achieve
but definitely a better sense of direction to follow...

People I'm glad to have you around during my low times...
but I hope that you will be around during my high times...

周杰伦 - 彩虹

哪里有彩虹告诉我
能不能把我的愿望还给我
为什么天这么安静
所有云都跑到我这里

有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白
看不见你的笑
要我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳开始环绕环绕
没有理由我也能自己走掉
是我说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

I'm glad to make such a decision today...
Yes I'm sadz in a way bcoz.. I'm sort of rejected...
well it's a one-sided affair... This ending is sort of expected...
But I think i shld give myself a gd pat on my shoulder coz I'm brave enough to face all things...
At least I feel relieved...
At least I dun feel headless anymore...
At least I've tried and I know I will not regret...
At least I know I can let go..
Sadness is just a part and parcel of the grieving process..
I think i will come out of it...
It's a learning process...
Learning how to pick self up when we fall..
A process to know that this friendship is being treasured by both parties
A process to know that how strong we can be...


There are 4 persons we need to find in our life...
The first one is self..
The second one is a person we love most
The third one is a person who love us most
and lastly one who can spend the rest of our life with...

I'm still looking for 2nd, 3rd and 4th.. hopefully they are the same person..
And i hope you guys will be able to find yours too...
I know it's difficult but please be patience..
The best yet to come...


Someone told me abt this theory today...
The Mr right should consists of the following:
- able to make you laugh when you are sadz
- you feel happy when he is happy
- you feel sad when he is sadz...

I hope you will be able to feel for the theory too..

The sky will be clearer than tmr.. :)

林宥嘉

那首歌


我爱的人


你把我灌醉


背影


三公分阳光三公分空气
堵在眼前像一面玻璃
挡住了你表情剩下只有脚印
He......
一直向前走走不完距离
一直向后退不出回忆
很高兴有心事帮我困住自己

你头发上淡淡青草香气
变成了风才能和我相遇
你的目光蒸发成云
再下成雨我才能够靠近
感谢我不可以住进你的眼睛
所以才能拥抱你的背影
有再多的遗憾用来牢牢记住
不完美的所有美丽
感谢我不可以拥抱你的背影
所以才能变成你的背影
躲在安静角落不用你回头看
不用珍惜
我怀里所有温暖的空气
变成风也不敢和你相遇
我的心事蒸发成云
再下成雨却舍不得淋湿你
躲在安静角落如果你回头看
不用在意

escapist?

I get fatigue easily recently...
seems that I dont have some energy left for other things...
I'm tired of pulling the corners of my lips up when I feel like crying...
hidding at one corner and juz to let out my feelings
but i cant... I really cant to so...
Disappointment has occupied my entire emotion and well being...
Shld have believed that it's an avoidance an escapism...
Shldnt have believed that the mist will be clear.. things will be fine.. and I will face it with my brave side...
I feel like sleeping away all my unhappiness and worries...
but it does not work... every morning i wake up such feelings still exist...
It's growing... it's magnifying... It feels more than what I've experienced last May...
Maybe I shld continue to cuddle myself in bed to avoid such feelings...

我怀念当初在海边画画的日子
人好像 无时无刻
一辈子都在后悔
一辈子都在。。。
后知后觉以后领悟
我曾错过。。。
曾经遗憾一些事情
再来 用这遗憾
来完成自己的画
希望每一个人
都可以珍惜自己身边的人
就像蓝天永远包容着白云
就算晴时多云偶阵雨
天晴之后 这是会有着彩虹

雨过天晴的晚上
我看到满天繁星
微风吹过 呼唤着珍惜
我不想再退缩
不想再躲在墙角
我想好好地为自己努力
想好好面对的自己

...

feeling a bit tired regarding wat's going on in the surroundings...
i'm tired of all the guessing games..
tired of taking on a angelic role.. how i wish i'm a devil in nature..
i'm tired of waiting..
tired of putting up a false front..
someone told me to grit my teeth and soldier on..
do i still have the energy and courage...
i know i'm hiding...
trying to keep a distance but yet looking forward to all the meetings...
sigh.. wat a conflicting me..

A letter to U

My dear friend,

I'm just a line away, please share your burden with me when you need a listening ear
The load is not the heavy that all because i'm here to share with you
I'm always here to hold you tight, please dont let go yourself?
It's sad to know that you are not happy, it hurt me to see you suffering
If there is anything that i can do to make you happy, please let me know..
You hold an important place in my heart, and i will never forgo our friendship
Remember I'm always at your side giving all the support you need,
Please dont give up, my dear friend
I'm always here for you...

x|n

??

Got a bit teary recently..
often i will 含着泪睡着
i dun really know what actually bother me exactly...
but i do know that i'm affected by some small little changes observe on the facebook..
i start to wonder why
or shld i say that i need to learn to really acknowledge..
i'm stuck in a way
may be have sank in other way..


找不到方向望彩虹天堂

呼吸的痛

想念是会呼吸的痛
因为我不能继续呆在你身边
不能陪你嬉闹
因为离开是为了让我成长
是为了让你解脱

遗憾是会呼吸的痛
因为我输给了你和她过去
输给了起跑点
因为我不能给你她所能给的快乐
不能想被这过去捆住


我们好像只能背对背而已

潘裕文 潘王子 Peter Pan

Recently I am addicted to taiwanese variety show:超级星光大道
and, also i am addicted to one of the contestants--- 潘裕文！！！
soothing voice he has, 温暖， 能安抚人的歌声！！
潘王子！！！

潘裕文 林志炫--離人


潘裕文-旋木


潘裕文--走了嗎

珍惜

你的抽屉里面
一定藏了很多你珍惜的东西
只是已经放得太久
久的连你自己都忘记了
巧克力如果不吃
会被蚂蚁吃掉
身边的人如果不珍惜的话
也是会消失的


from Angel Lover

change of perception...

In order to continue to adapt
one needs to learn to change his/ her beliefs and values systems
i'm learning to do so..
trying hard to move out..

有人讓我明白在乎一個人的感受，讓我明白為在乎的人努力，是不求回報也會快樂的，
我想為我在乎的人繼續努力。

爱情转移

I was struck by a sentence in the lyrics of 爱情转移

“感情需要人接班 接近换来期望 期望带来失望的恶性循环”

Is this really a vicious cycle? I'm trying to understand.. shld i say i dont understand.. It is true that high hope may result in disappointment however hope give us a direction to move on...

If i need to respond to this line，i will say:

“我愿意为你的爱情接班， 但你愿意吗？
不要再期望什么
而是努力经营原有的一切
你的失望不再是一个人的负担
因为我愿意和你分担”

依赖

我想依赖你，可以吗？
我想和你分享我的喜怒哀乐，你愿意吗？
如果依赖成了习惯， 我希望你不要放开你的手
请让我继续地依赖你
我想一直躲在你的怀里，
依偎着你
一直感受到你的呵护
你是否愿意？

Abandonment

"abandon yourself to this new day
abandon yourself to what might be new for you today
abandon yourself to what may come, and let go of what you wish were true.
Keeping your hand clenched on the past doesn't let you accept anything new
abandon yourself and open your hand to see what new might come"

This is a quote from a journal article which i recently read for the schoolwork which i find it meaningful.
We need learn to let go the past and let things slowly heal by themselves. It is good for us to reminisce the past, but there is a limit. Holding onto the past doesnt allow you to change anything from the past. The past will continue to haunt you if you dont let go. It will continue to tear the scar apart and cause more pain in you. I've learnt to let go, have you?

dreaming of you

I've dreamt of you last night
A sweet and bitter dream to me
I wonder you have tasted it
Wonder you have the same dream as mine
but I'm certain that your dream doesnt cast me as the main role
maybe a supporting role which I may not appreciate
I'm certain that my dream will not turn to reality
And, I'm certain that it's just a dream
A dream that reminded me to surrender to the reality
A dream that made me tear when I woke up
I will support your decision
I hope that it's a right one
I hope the best for you
but I still hope to keep you in my dream

喜欢。习惯

喜欢与习惯
常常只有一线的距离
当感情转淡了
喜欢或许已变成了习惯
但难以察觉
因为每个人常常会把这两个感觉混淆
而听不见真真的感觉

喜欢一个人是发指内心的一种真真的感觉
而习惯某个人像是一种毒瘾，一种依赖
戒也戒不掉， 而迷失的自己
蒙蔽的真心

随笔 for FIR 需要你的爱

我看见了你的贴心与用心
你是否看见了我的真心与耐心
我在等待
一直在等待
等待你听见自己心里的话的那一天

I love my job...

Whenever I started to feel that I'm losing my grip, there will be something that reaffirm my values and beliefs. I need to admit that as a healthcare professional, we need to be emotionally strong and learn to empathize others. Enablement and empowerment are the key things that we should ultimately pass on to our patients. I always feel that I've not been doing enough for my patients and my passion in my work was shaken by certain events happened. Yesterday, my patient wrote a card for me.

"I wan to tell you "Thank You"
But it doesn't seem enough.
Words don't seem sufficient.
I appreciate your kindness
more than words can say.
You're special because
you seemed to always make my day
with your cheerfulness and laughter.
Really appreicate everything you had done.
Words can say so little when someone had done so much."


This message may mean nothing to others, but it means a lot to me. It rekindles my passion as a therapist, reaffirms my beliefs in my care. To me, a patient is not just a patient, but also a mentor in my life experience.

向日葵

悲伤从不属于向日葵
不管也有多黑
向日葵总是不断的找寻太阳
希望让自己快乐
而且把阳光带给大家

是非题

down 2

I think everyone is thinking that i'm feeling better. but the truth is I'm not.. getting a bit teary and worried with my partial tear in knee ligament which the dr wan to treat it conservatively to see whether there is any improvement with intramuscular injection, if not a scope with a KIV operatin may be needed. this means that i might not be a inpatient therapist anymore. the injection was very painful that my entire body was tensed up. post jab was also a misery because i cant flex my knee well and i feel more pain... i have a urge to call but i'm juz a nobody...Seems like i having bad luck.. i think i need to get an amulet for myself too..

down...1

out of the sudden, i feel like telling someone a lot of things: my feelings towards the person, and the incident and my views. but i have chosen to stop myself from doing so. I'm feeling very uncertain towards wat has been happening among/ between/ to us. I'm hesitated to the truth, and i'm holding myself back. I dont have the courage to say wat i intend to. ALl i can do is stayed extremely calm listening to the narration of the recent events, although i am not! I'm not giving any stress to anyone but towards myself.

秘密

在我朋友面前我是一个没有自己秘密的人
我喜欢向朋友坦白
但因为某些原因我知道某人的秘密
一个让我心痛的秘密
一个让窒息的秘密
一个具有杀伤力的秘密
这个秘密我并没有告诉认识他的人
因为我知道它的严重性
但这个秘密所负有的重量让我有了压力
我选择了逃避
逃避面对秘密
逃避面对这个过去
对不起我已无法背负着承重的秘密
所以我早已选择了离去

在爱情的路上
每个人都需要作出个选择
感情变淡了， 牵手或放手？
爱情变稀薄， 幸福或祝福？
在爱情的转角
每个人都要面对前方的景物
不管选择是对，是错
我们都要学习面对

Kapo

sometimes i wonder whether i shld poke my fingers regrading others' personal issues.. i do feel that i said too much but shld i say i care too much.. i juz want my friends to be hurt to a certain extent... i've been thru that phase n i dun wan to friends to follow that footsteps.i feel hurt to see their relationships do not go in the correct ways...

I'm workacholic..

I think I'm mad.. serious!! I'm still at my workplace mugging for my assignment till i decided to give up to refine my search question.. who on earth will stay till so late to do the work in the office.. I'm crazy indeed..!! I need rest le.. coz i'm speaking rubbish now!!

Retrospective entry

Finally I had my very own weekend after burning 3 consecutive weekends due to conference, work, inservice and school.. Though this weekend I'm still doing my assignment.. which tried to accomplish a bit but failed.. but at least I manage to do something I like and they are less stressful.. hmm.. what did i done? well i finally manage to meet up with WC on friday for dinner & crap a bit plus watched "Ratatouille". And also met up with Aud, and Geri for coffee and nua-ing in the cafe on sat nitez.. how i wish everyday will be like these.. wat a wishing thinking i had.. well there was a common thing happened for the both nite which was i took the last train back home.. fierce rite.. haha (lame)

The following are some recent events that i was "involved":

1) Raj's Farewell (17 Aug)

Occupational Therapy Team 1


2) Singapore Fireworks Festival (17 Aug)

Always like this nightview of Singapore from the bay...





wow!! my fav. Fireworks..

Wencong & I




3) Rheumatology Workshop @ Conrad (24-26 Aug)

Having the morning tea with my workmates


The only thing I enjoyed during the conference was the food.. and dining area.. ambience was good.. classy.. but a bit stressful when facing at the cutlery..

Function Room for dinner is at the poolside

This is the poolside restroom..

4) Interdept Captain Ball Match (5 & 7 Sept)
Energizer

Da Ge Hong Yun & me...

Tired look.. Lip Chin, Joanna & me!

Mr Adam Keith & me...

David & me...

Victory smile.. moving into the quarter finals

Go Go GO!!!



5) Hong Yun's Farewell (7 Sept)


What's so secretive?

So engrossed in reading

Yeah.. Specially designed farewell gift...

Recent look of me...

特别的位置

每个人这辈子
心中都有过这么一个特别的朋友
可能相爱过， 也可能喜欢着彼此
但是， 却为了什么原因而没能在一起
很矛盾的行为
一开始
你不甘心只是做朋友的
但久了
突然发现
这样最好
宁愿这样默默地关心
总好过在一起而有天会分手

珍惜

有一种感觉叫珍惜
这是一种奇妙的感觉
一种令人感到幸福的感觉
被在乎的感觉
不管结果如何
最重要的是
当下这个人感觉到珍惜

遗忘

如果可以的话, 我希望能忘记过去
以全新的姿态认识你
或许一切会简单多了

Things will not be the same

Today it might seem to be a normal usual Monday, but i guess everyone do feel the same as how i feel, juz that no one do vocalise it. The team is quieter now, and 10AB gym too.. no more lame jokes, no more baby photos and Hp discussions, and my nagging voices... things will not be the same anymore, unless this is wat i felt... i need to admit that i miss that chap. he is not only the colleague, but also a mentor, brother and friend. i like to depend on him when i'm at workplace. he is also my SOS in time of crisis. all these made his departure difficult for me...

i'm glad that he likes that movie clip that i've prepared for him... at least his appreciation made it worthwhile for me sleeping at 4am in the morning in order to complete the gift.

i hope that he is fine at rehab, enjoying his work and continue to make a difference in his patients. plus taking good care of those patients who were previously under my care. 大哥加油！！

A girl.. who simply loves the speed...

When i was young i was kind of different from the girls of same age.. i dont like playing with barbie dolls or masa masa.. playing hide and seek; and catching were always on the top of my priorities... i enjoy running not as in slow jog but it's the hard core spriting... i like the "dash" feeling during the run and also the wind blowing onto my face... And, also i always like to speed up when running downward slope to enjoy the "extra" bit of speed.. not only that it actually allows me to keep my mind off from other things and focus during that few seconds of dashing... and it is a way for me to vent my anger too... i hope i can continue to run like the past.. but i really doubt so based on the recent incidents..

i started to feel the pain on the medial side of my right knee since Apr/May... i thought it was a muscle strain coz i felt it a few times during my track and field training when i was in Sec4, and the dr believed so too... but the pain din go off for weeks... and my physio friend felt that it seems to be a muscle imbalance issue becoz of my gaits. i subsequently went for a running assessment to look at my weight distribution on feet and the results were i tend to over pronate during my run. and a pair of control shoes and knee support were invested. and the pain did went off gradually.. however recently the pain came back when i increased the intensity of sports in a week, and aching pain increases when i redistributed all my weight onto my right for more than 1 min. in addition there seems to be an increase in trip and almost fall incidence rates over the past 1 month. multiple falls occurred during the past 2 days of captain balls and these falls werent mostly caused by collisions. i still remembered that there was one moment when i jumped for the ball, sudden weakness was felt on my right leg, and i fell when i landed. yesterday when i was running from novena square trying to catch up with my teammates after lunch, i had a sense of 力不从心. i found it difficult to do my striding as weakness set in. things worsened during the evening games, despite i wanted to play at least a full half game. my knee basically gave way when i was running and there was a moment that i limp. all the bruises were found on my right leg. a few of my physio friends had asked me not to continue to play, and one of them did explain the consequences if anything happened--- might not be able to do any sports in the future if it is really a ligament issue not balance. i did ponder abt this issue for a while but i decided to continue to play last night as it holds an extra meaning...
it might be rare to see the 3 guys from my dept playing together in the future. 我真得很想最后一次和他们一起拼命。。。 and i did view it as my last game before i consult the dr and get the final verdict. but unfortunately i din get to play much as they were worried that i will further injure myself if i continue to fall.

aching pain is still constantly felt and it increases when i walk more than 10min... planning to see a dr soon.. but fearful of the findings.. maybe ignorance is a blessing.. and i wan to continue to run..

愛情是靠努力的, 如果一切都講運氣, 愛情還有甚麼好感人的?

有种美丽，叫放弃 （‘淘汰’后记）

感激上天让我与你相遇与你别离
生命给了我们无尽的悲哀， 也给来我们永远的答案
于是，安然一份放弃， 固守一份超脱
不管未来的生活如何变迁
不管个人的选择方式如何
跟不管握在手中的东西如何
我们虽逃避也勇敢， 虽欣慰也伤感
我们像往常一样，往生活的深处走去
我们像往常一样， 在逐步放弃
却有着逐步决定

淘汰

淘汰 is one of the songs that I came across when watching one of the Taiwan variety shows.. and it manages to touch me.. There are 2 versions of this song.. personally i prefer Eason's version as i like the way he handled the emotions of the songs..

Eason's version



Jay Chou's Version


如果你愿意再次相信
相信我是爱你的
我会奋不顾身
把幸福都给你
就算
有风也有雨
也要给你
阳光洒满地